


Dealing with the shadows

by MissTako



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Adopted Children, Children, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, parenting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-23 09:08:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6111717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissTako/pseuds/MissTako
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Overcoming abuse is hard, and Laurent doesn't want anyone to be hurt because of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First step

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> Here is my first Captive Prince fic, because I _had_ to write about these two dorks.
> 
> I am not a native english speaker, if you see mistakes, don't hesitate to tell me so I can correct them.

Damen was talking with animation when he suddenly stopped.  
  
“Why are you upset?”  
  
“I am not.”  
  
Laurent was looking as relaxed as usual, but Damen had learnt, through the years, to notice the subtle shift in his attitude when the King of Vere was preoccupied.  
  
He knew better than to push the subject when Laurent clearly didn’t want to talk about it, and they both stayed silent while walking to their room.  
  
Once arrived, Laurent walked to the desk and started working, ignoring his husband. Damen chose to sit on the bed and wait.  
  
After a while, Laurent stopped working and tapped his long fingers against the wood. So he _was_ upset.  
  
“I don’t think having children is a good idea.”  
  
Damen shot him a surprised glance. He wasn’t expecting the discussion they had earlier this day with their advisors to be the reason why Laurent seemed tense.  
  
“I thought you would be happy. You love children. Is it the idea of bastardy that disturbs you?”  
  
Laurent paused. Less than half a second, but enough for Damen to know he was going to lie.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
He wasn’t even trying to be believable.  
  
“No it isn't. Then what?”  
  
Neither of them spoke for a while. Laurent was looking right at Damen, like he was gauging if he should work on the lie, or tell the truth. Damen knew bastardy wasn’t the problem here. Of course, the Veretian part of their joined kingdom was still strongly afraid of illegitimate offspring; and their future child’s ascension to the throne would present some difficulties, but it wasn’t that. They had options. They could adopt an orphan child. They could adopt Jokaste’s child. So the issue couldn’t be that Laurent was uncomfortable with the idea of one of them having to sleep with a woman neither.  
  
Laurent started talking, breaking Damen’s train of thoughts.  
  
“I don’t think I am… qualified to raise children.”  
  
“Why? You are good with them. Half of the nobles’ kids are following your every move; they think of you as a kind of hero.”  
  
Laurent looked away, hands firmly clasped on his lap.  
  
“It’s not the same. They aren’t mine. If we had a child, they… I…”  
  
Laurent abruptly stopped and started writing again. The muscles of his jaw were tense.  
  
Damen stood up, walking to his husband and setting a hand on his shoulder, carefully.  
  
“Is it… Does it have to do with what happened to you?”  
  
It was a dangerous topic. Under his hand, muscles tensed.  
  
“My family is stained. We will not raise children. This conversation is over.”  
  
Damen nodded, holding Laurent’s shoulder a little tighter to show his support, and left. Laurent was upset, and an upset Laurent always needed time for himself.  
  


***

When he came back to their room, Damen found Laurent sitting on their bed, brows knitted. Damen joined him.  
  
“You know what my uncle did.”  
  
So, they were going to talk about it, after all. Damen made himself comfortable against the cushions, one hand on Laurent knee.  
  
“I do.”  
  
“I don’t want something like that to happen to my hypothetical children.”  
  
“Of course. But it won’t. We wouldn’t let anyone hurt them.”  
  
“What if _I_ do?”  
  
And there was the problem. The real one.  
  
Damen thought he shouldn’t be surprised. Laurent didn’t trust himself. He never stopped imposing a strong discipline over his body and his mind, never stopped to blame himself for every mistake he would make. Despite the appearances, Damen knew Laurent didn’t have a really high opinion of himself.  
  
“You would rather die than to do that to someone.”  
  
“How do you know that? After what I did to you when we first met, you should know better. I hurt people when I am angry.”  
  
The tone was acid, the words aimed to hurt. Damen indeed remembered what happened in Vere, not so long ago. The ring. Ancel.  
  
“You had your reasons.”  
  
“You know; it really worries me that you find excuses for my actions.”  
  
“It is not excuses. You shouldn’t have done what you did. And you know that. But circumstances were different. You were different. You were angry, and alone, and facing the man responsible of everything.”  
  
“I am still facing him now. How do you know I won’t act like that again?”  
  
“Because you don’t see me that way now. I am not the man who killed your brother and let you alone with your uncle anymore. And you are no more the man who put me in a ring to be raped, and who teared the skin of my back.”  
  
A brief humorless laugh escaped Laurent’s lips.  
  
“Look at us. How can you trust us to raise a child.”  
  
“We are leading two nations who hate each other. I think we will manage a few toddlers.”  
  
Laurent laughed again; this time, more honestly.  
  
“A few? My dear barbarian, how many children are you expecting us to have? Twelve at once, like boars?”  
  
Damen smiled.  
  
“Well, since you suggested it…”  
  
They both laughed, the tension easing. Laurent abandoned his stiff posture to lay against his lover’s chest. Damen set his hand on the small of his back.  
  
“You won’t hurt them. Especially not like that,” he said softly. Then, teasing, “You don’t even like sex.”  
  
Laurent looked insulted. He grabbed his lover under the coverts, making him squirm.  
  
“I don’t? But I remind having plenty of sex with a certain barbarian of mine. And I am not the kind of man who does things he doesn’t like.”  
  
Damen laughed again, a little breathless because of Laurent’s ministrations.  
  
“But it's not sex when we make love. I meant sex, in general. You don’t like it.”  
  
“Are you insinuating that you are special, my dear barbarian?”  
  
He didn’t try to deny. It was well known that Laurent of Vere always had little interest for sexual activities. He had made no effort to hide that fact.  
  
Damen kissed his lover.  
  
“Would I be wrong?”  
  
Laurent paused, looking at Damen with way too much intensity. After a while, his hand started moving again.  
  
“No. No you wouldn’t. You are never wrong.”  
  



	2. First jump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reality was not easier for Laurent to manage. Trust was something he gave to only one man, and maybe he forgot to give some to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the lovely feedbacks! I hope you'll like this chapter as well.
> 
> At first, this scene was supposed to be only a short paragraph, but... things happened. So there will be another chapter in this story.
> 
> Happy reading!

Damen usually didn’t win many arguments in their partnership, but this time, he did. Laurent agreed to try raising a child. Even if “trying” might not be the right word. It was not like they could give it back if they weren’t happy with it.

Laurent was looking at the cradle.  For now, the newborn didn’t give them any reason to complain. Sure, he was crying a lot, but that was what a baby was supposed to do, as far as Laurent knew.

They adopted Vincent after his mother died giving birth. It was something which happened a lot, sadly. It wasn’t hard to find an orphan child, in small villages. Damen and Laurent were trying to change that, but it was not easy. They had many other things to change, even five years after they won back their thrones.

It was Laurent who chose the name. A very Veretian name for a child with very Akielon features. Sleeping in the crib, Vincent was holding the edge of his sheet in his small dark fist. He already had little brown curls, crowning his small head. His skin was a shade lighter than Damen’s, with more golden undertones. He looked nothing like Laurent. Or Americ. Or Nicaise. The thought comforted Laurent a little.

“Do you want to hold him, Your Highness?”

Laurent raised his eyes to the wet nurse, and shook his head, once again. It has been four months already. Four months, and Laurent didn’t touch his son once. Damen didn’t pressure him to do it, and he was thankful for that. He needed time. It was not that he was scared. Because he wasn’t. But the child was so small, and he didn’t want to hurt him. So he preferred to let Damen handle him. It was impressive, seeing the King of Akielos holding a child not much bigger than his hands. Damen could be trusted with the newborn, Laurent had decided. He was too big for the kid to fall. But Laurent wasn’t huge like his barbarian, so he mustn’t hold Vincent. It was all very rational, he tried to convince himself.

But he knew he was lying, and the wet nurse, a Veretian woman in her late thirties named Daphnée, knew that too. Therefore, she didn’t stop pestering her King since she had been hired. Why did he hire her? She should know better than to contradict her King and employer. He had complained about it to King Damionos, but never took any action to fire the woman.

Even if he didn’t hold his son, he was almost always close to him, hovering around the cradle at a safe distance, observing the child. He thought of asking to have Vincent’s crib move to his office during the day so he could watch over him, but didn’t. The royal offspring stayed in his own apartment with Daphnée, across from the Kings’ bedroom.

“Your Highness…”

“I trust that I already declined your proposition, Daphnée.”

“It is not about that, your Highness. I…”

She looked embarrassed.

“Talk.” Ordered Laurent, rolling his eyes.

“I need to go meet King Damianos, he said he had things he wanted me to do for Prince Vincent. Could you, maybe… Would it inconvenience your Highness if I left you alone with your son, for the short time King Damianos will need my presence? Prince Vincent is sleeping; you won’t have to do anything.”

Laurent considered the situation. His son was indeed sleeping soundlessly, and even awake, he didn’t usually cause much troubles. And he trusted Damen to not keep the wet nurse away from their son for too long.

“You can go. Be quick.”

Daphnée bowed, and left the chamber. Now alone, Laurent started again to study the various maps in front of him, throwing quick glances in his son’s direction from time to time.

Vincent started crying. It startled Laurent, who looked at the crib with worry in his eyes. What was Daphnée doing? He stood up, coming close enough for the child to see him. It placated Vincent a little and he started squirming. Laurent didn’t move. Vincent started crying again. Laurent frowned.

He tried assessing the potential causes of his son’s distress. He was fed not long ago, so it was not hunger, and his sheets were not soiled. Maybe he was hurt, or sick. He came closer. Even before they adopted Vincent, he asked Paschal for the description of any symptom that could be linked to a potential child disease. He scrutinized the baby, looking for any red marks, cuts or spots. Finding nothing, he lifted his hand carefully, then stopped. He could ask a guard to do that. But he could also do it himself. He wasn’t going to hurt the child by simply checking his temperature, he rationalized. He pressed his palm to his son’s forehead. It seemed normal. The baby giggled. Laurent carefully retracted his hand. The baby cried again.

Oh.

Human contact, yes, it made sense. Babies needed human contact, he knew that. Where was Daphnée? He really was going to fire her.

Carefully, he pated Vincent on the head, feeling for the first time the softness of his curls. The baby caught one of his finger, squeezing hard. Laurent hesitated. He knew, rationally, that he would not turn into a monster just by holding a baby. But still, the painful feeling in his chest was still here. _You were such a pretty boy._ He would never speak of his son like that. He thought of Damen, and envied him. His husband was able to hold their son carelessly, without thinking of all the things he could do wrong. Damen was always so honest, open. It scared Laurent, sometimes, he didn’t, couldn’t, understand how Damen could let his barriers lowered like that almost all the time. Laurent prided himself on having a prodigious mind, but his best ally was also his greatest enemy, never allowing him to rest.

Laurent cupped his son’s head and lifted him.

For a moment, he was almost surprised nothing happened. The baby had stopped crying, now trying to grab a strand of Laurent’s golden hair with his little, uncoordinated arms.

Laurent felt like he was floating.

The door opened. Laurent turned around, finding himself looking at Damianos, King of Akielos. He felt like he was being caught red-handed doing something he shouldn’t be doing.

Damen’s face broke into a huge smile.

“You are holding him.”

Laurent looked down, as if to make sure that he was, indeed, holding his four months old son. Vincent finally managed to caught some of his father’s hair and tugged. Hard.

Laurent winced and Damen laughed.

“You are holding him.” He said again, still smiling. He had a beautiful smile, Laurent thought. Dumb, too.

“He was crying.”

He sounded like he was apologizing.

“He isn’t now. You did great.” The praise made Laurent feel a little more confident. “So, first time holding our son. What do you think?”

“He is… lighter than I thought,” said Laurent, still careful, “Maybe he won’t be as huge as yourself and there will still be enough room in our castle for me to breath.”

Damen laughed and approached them. He grabbed Laurent by the waist and lifted him, making his husband almost losing his grip on the baby.

“What are you doing? I am holding Vincent!” Laurent’s tone was dangerous, even if a little scared.

“And I am holding you. Maybe our son will too, when he will be older. You are not very heavy.”

“Put us down, barbarian, it’s dangerous.”

Damen laughed and didn’t comply, kissing Laurent’s lips and their child’s forehead.

“You swore to always trust me when we married, remember?”

He did. He remembered promising to this man what he had believed he wouldn’t give to anyone, after Auguste’s death. And, surprisingly, in the arms of this man, holding their son, he didn’t regret his decision in the slightest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it, please don't hesitate to leave opinions or advice in the comments!
> 
> Next and last chapter should be up within the week.


	3. First fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say kids are like their parents. Vincent is. But when it comes to certain things, Laurent doesn't want his son to follow his steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for your kind support! It really helped me to keep going and to find the strength to write in English ;P
> 
> For reference, "Père" is French for "Father". Since Vere was a little inspired by France, I decided to use this word.
> 
> Enjoy!

Holding his son had unlocked something inside Laurent’s mind, and things went mostly smoothly after that.

Of course, he still encountered some issues. It took four years for him to allow Vincent into his and Damen’s bedroom, and an additional year for him to accept to be left alone with his son in the Prince’s apartments. But it wasn’t things that seemed to negatively impact the toddler, who was probably too young to notice.

He and Damen never talked about the issues Laurent encountered. Laurent was a man who liked to resolve his problems himself, and even if he trusted Damen, it wasn’t something he was willing to solve by asking for the help of another person. It was too intimate. Damen respected that, silently offering support and space, even if everyone could tell that the King was dying of not being able to help his husband in a concrete way.

As Damen had predicted, Laurent was an amazing father. He was incredibly patient, as he had been with Nicaise. Nikandros was always baffled by the way Laurent was able to talk Prince Vincent out of a hissing fit for hours, him who was destroying men’s ego in mere seconds every day at council meetings, if they made the mistake to annoy him.

If Laurent liked playing with his son, he had first made a point of teaching him everything he considered necessary for the boy to master, in order to defend himself. Sword fighting, of course. A lot of strategy and coded languages. Ridding. He asked, or demanded, that Damen teach Vincent how to wrestle like a true Akielon. At ten, the Prince was as good as a child his age could be. It was because his parents were the best two fighters in the whole continent, had said Jord, a day he had let the young prince win a sword fight against him.

The Prince loved both of his fathers. He was spending a lot of time on King Damianos shoulders, sometimes sleeping here during political meeting, to the great displeasure of the Kings’ counselors. He listened Damen’s stories, and the lessons he gave about moral, with great interest, and was making a point to help those in need. But it was with Laurent that the child was the liveliest. Both enjoyed magic tricks, but neither was really good in the art of prestidigitation. Damen wasn’t even sure that they were trying to be. Mostly, they were having fun, a concept Damen still had difficulties to associate with his husband. Even if, after over a decade of married life, he knew that Laurent had an honest interest for games. He should be used to his husband’s more honest side, but it was hard, when he was daily witnessing the King of Vere verbally ripping people apart.

Because Laurent didn’t lose his verve when entering married life. And he was fiercely protective of his son, who wasn’t spared from court’s scandals. In fact, he was right in the middle of them, being the Crown Prince of two kingdoms.  
The Kings never told anyone Vincent’s origins, a choice made by Laurent so that no united opposition could form against their kid. Only Nikandros and Pallas, who went to find the newborn, were in the confidence. Jord knew, too, because the most common rumor was that Vincent was the illegitimate heir of Damen. When hearing that, Jord had almost challenged King Damianos to a duel of honor, fearing that Laurent hesitancy around the child was because he was uncomfortable with the idea of his husband laying with another. In order to calm him down, Laurent had to give him extensive explanations regarding the origins of the Prince.

As in all families, they had their problems. Days when, after a difficult meeting, Laurent would feel particularly short-tempered and would lash out. Days when Vincent, like every child, would be restless or angry for no reason. Days when Damen would panic, after the Prince’s legitimacy would be challenged once more. But mostly, things were goods, and the decision they made hadn’t be regretted.

Together, they were successfully leading two kingdoms, and raising a child.

 

***

 

At first, Damen didn’t notice when Laurent’s protectiveness started to be less ostentatious. Or when he stopped playing with Vincent. Or even when he simply stopped doing anything with his son.

Actually, he didn’t notice it at all until Vincent himself came to him, holding a book about horses.

“Father, can you help me choose my horse?”

Prince Vincent, like his Akielon father, was becoming rather tall now that he was in his teenage years, and the promise of a real horse had been made to him on his last birthday, his pony being becoming a little too short to be able to efficiently serve the Prince.

Damen looked at his son with an interrogative gaze.

“Isn’t Laurent more qualified for such decision?”

The kid looked down and shook his head silently. Damen didn’t insist. Vincent had his Veretian’s father mind when it came to conflict, he usually rarely asked for help, preferring to resolve it by himself. Maybe he and Laurent had a fight. It was unusual, but not unheard of.

They went to the stables to see the youngest foals, since Vincent had asked for a horse trained by King Laurent himself. They stayed here a while, with Damen explaining the pros and cons of the various breeds, and speculating about the possible nature of the horse once it will reach maturity.

But when Damen asked his son if he had made his choice, the child shook his head once again.

“What is it Vincent? You don’t want a horse anymore? You can keep your pony too, you know.”

The response was unexpected.

“Why doesn’t _Père_ love me anymore?”

Damen was taken aback. Sure, his husband wasn’t the most affectionate person, but how could Vincent think his father didn’t love him? They spent so much time together that Damen was sometimes catching himself feeling jealous. He crouched to be able to look at Vincent in the eyes.

“What makes you ask that?”

“He said he didn’t want to talk to me any longer.”

The child looked miserable. Damen was confused, already starting to feel the anger growing. Did Laurent really say that? To their son? Laurent tended to have less fits of cruelty these days, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t suddenly lash out if he had kept things for himself for too long. He stood up.

“Why don’t you go see Uncle Jord? I am going to talk to your _Père_ , I am sure he didn’t mean it this way.”

Vincent nodded and ran way, still holding his book close to his chest. Damen stood up, trying to calm himself. Laurent was smart. Laurent was kind, especially with his family. He must have some motives for acting this way.

He better have.

 

***

 

The King of Vere was sitting by the window, reading, he lifted his head at Damen’s arrival, and frown when he saw his husband’s expression. He set the book aside.

“Did something happen?”

“I don’t know, you tell me.”

Laurent stayed silent, waiting for an actual answer. He didn’t wait too long.

“Vincent, _our_ son, told me you asked him to stop talking to you. I really hope he misunderstood your words.”

“Oh.”

Laurent looked a little surprised, but not guilty.

“No, he didn’t misunderstand.”

He picked up his book, under Damen’s incredulous glare.

He must have a reason, Damen tried to convince himself. There was always a reason, with Laurent. Or more like ten reasons. But his son was distressed, and Damen was lacking the patience that he knew was necessary to deal with Laurent. He took a deep breath, but talked anyway.

“I though you didn’t want to hurt your son.”

Laurent took the blow, expressionless but his fingers whitening from holding the book with too much force.

“Laurent. Talk to me. I am just trying to help. To be a good husband. A good father.”

Laurent laughed, acidic.

“Can you really call yourself a good father more than me? Or a good husband? When you only now notice that Vincent and I don’t talk anymore?”

Damen looked horrified.

“Since when? Laurent, what kind of sick mind game are you playing at?”

Laurent averted his eyes for half second. Then he stood up and made his way to the door.

Damen caught his arm without thinking, judgment clouded by anger and worry. Laurent stiffen, his body locked in a way it hadn’t since years ago. He directed a gaze cold as ice at Damen.

“Are you going to bodily force me to talk to my son, King Damianos?”

Damen let go of Laurent’s arm like he had been burnt. The King of Vere left.

 

***

 

Damen spent a long time in the room, trying to figure out what was happening, and why Laurent was acting this way. By midnight, still alone on the royal bed, he decided that his husband won’t return that night, and left the castle for the training area, feeling the imperious need to hit things.

He did. For a long time. Several hours later, still too early for the sun to shine, he was stopped by a low, appreciative whistle.

Lazar was leaning against one of the pillars, watching him with an impressed face, one eyebrow raised.

“Well, Exalted, if you always have that level of stamina, I am going to be jealous of the King your husband.”

“Now is not the time for pleasantries Lazar, please leave.”

Lazar did a mocking bow.

“Of course, Exalted. I respect your right to privacy. I was just admiring your skills. See, Prince Vincent managed to win against me, last time we spared. I was hoping that watching you would help me to win back my honor next time. But obviously, with a teacher like you, even if he is only thirteen, I don’t think I will be able to beat Prince Vincent as easily, now. Better find another child to train with so I can think of myself as a great warrior again.”

Damen didn’t pay attention to Lazar’s departure. Something in his speech made him think, and now, he was cursing himself for his idiocy. Vincent was thirteen. He knew his son’s age, of course. The birthday party was only two months ago. But he didn’t _think_.

He needed to find Laurent.

 

***

 

It was a hard task, probably because Laurent didn’t want to be found, and it was extremely difficult to outplanned him.

At least, his horse was still in the stables. Laurent had a habit of riding when he was upset or wanted to be left alone, so it was the first place Damen went to. But as far as Damen could tell, the King of Vere was still in the castle. Or went away by foot.

His office was empty, as was their bedroom. The baths were empty, too. Damen checked his sleeping son’s apartments, aware that Laurent’s presence in this place was very unlikely. Even in a good mood, he usually avoided Vincent’s chambers.

After storming half of their castle, he found his husband in a rather unexpected place, curled on one of the infirmary’s bed. He looked asleep. And cold, from the way he was holding himself tight. The room was in the basement, a large area made to be able to contain a whole regiment, and therefore impossible to keep warm. Damen felt the chill on his still damped skin.

“Laurent”

Damen called him from the doorstep, not wanting to startle him. Laurent had always been a light sleeper anyway.

His husband opened his eyes but didn’t move.

“I expected you to find me sooner.”

“I only started looking an hour ago. You are not the only one needing some time by himself to think when something happens.”

“Yes, it seems that I tend to forget this fact.”

“I am sorry Laurent.”

This time, Laurent looked surprised, even if slightly, and he slowly sat up.

“And I wasn’t excepting an apology neither. You are full of surprises today, Husband. What are you apologizing for?”

“I shouldn’t have grab you when you were upset. And I should have guess sooner why you were acting that way. I failed to offer you the comfort and support I promised you the day we married.”

Laurent’s face softened briefly.

“My dear barbarian, apologizing for things that are not his fault. You are too kind to me, don’t act like you are the one in the wrong.”

“I’m afraid it’s a habit we both share. Laurent, I told you that, and I will tell it again. You are not your uncle. What happened was not your fault, and you won’t do that to Vincent.”

Leaning back against the wall, Laurent slowly massaged his temples.

“So you figured it out.”

“Yes. You were doing so well, I forgot what happened to you when you were his age. I should have been expecting it, and I should have handle it better.”

Laurent was silent for a long moment.

“I don’t want to hurt him,” he whispered.

Damen closed his eyes and breathed. He had to say it.

“But you are. You are hurting him. Not the way you were hurt, but it is not fair for him. He thinks you don’t love him anymore. He blames himself.”

“I _know_ that. Trust me I know. But I can’t, Damen. It has always been the one thing I wasn’t able to control!”

His voice broke and he had to take several long, deep breaths to hold himself together.

Damen dared to take several careful steps in his direction, still not reaching for him, even if all of his instincts were screaming at him to hold Laurent, to kiss him, to comfort him.

“Laurent. I know you were, and I know that sometimes you still think you are, but you are not alone anymore. I can help you. Or if you don’t want it to be me, you can talk to Paschal. Jord. Even Makedon would be glad to help, he adopted you. All you have to do is to ask.”

“I am not… It is not something I was ever able to do. Before. I quickly learnt that the safest way to help myself was to do it on my own.”

“Then you have to let us teach you how to do that.”

“I am not sure I can.”

Damen finally sat on the other end of the bed, still fighting the urge to hold Laurent.

“You have a great mind, Laurent. I’m sure you will figure things out. And maybe… If you can’t win now, find a way to buy yourself some time?”

“You mean that I should stop trying to fix myself for now?”

“I mean, if you concluded your problem has no solution, maybe it wasn’t the right problem to solve?”

“My problem is that I cannot be around my thirteen years old son without fearing for his safety and doubting myself. If I cannot do anything about that fact, I should find how to solve the issues ensuing from that problem," he paused, "Wasn’t it what I did by explaining to Vincent that I will not talk to him anymore?”

“Maybe it was, but then, it wasn’t the right solution. You made him sad.”

Laurent nodded pensively, probably studying the issue emotionlessly, like a math problem.

“So, the issue is: me not being able to be around Vincent makes him sad. Then, the goal would be to _not_ make him sad. In order to do that, the only solution seems to be to make me be able to be around him. Which is exactly the issue. Maybe if some trusted members of the Royal Guard were with us at all time…”

Despite the situation, Damen laughed. He came closer to Laurent.

“Your mind is too intricate, lover. Maybe you took the wrong way to the goal, in your maze of a mind.”

“Do you have suggestions? See, I request your inputs. I listened to your advice, and I am asking for your help. You should be proud.”

“I am,” Damen smiled widely then sobered up, “I was thinking you could just explain the issue to him, so he could understand why, for a while, you will need a little space.”

“I thought the goal was to _not_ make him sad. I don’t want to overestimate my importance in Vincent’s heart, but I believe that the story of his father’s rape won’t fill him with joy.”

Damen grimaced. After a short hesitancy, he reached for Laurent, slowly so the other could refuse the embrace if he wanted to. Laurent let himself be circled by Damen huge arms, solid and warm against him.

“He would be sad, but it won’t be the same than thinking he is being rejected by his father. He is a big boy now, he will understand. He is a great kid.”

Laurent allowed himself to think, fingers slowly dragging along Damen’s arms.

“Yes. Yes, I think I can do that,” he hesitated, “But I would need you to be here as well.”

“Yes, of cou-“

“I would need you to be here,” Laurent interrupted, “and I would need you to be controlled. I will talk about my uncle. We know how you react to that subject, and we don’t want you to traumatize Vincent by destroying the room in a fit of rage. Are you sure you can do that?” and, before allowing Damen to answer, “I need you to be _sure_. No ‘maybe’. No ‘I will try’. Sure.”

“Yes,” answered Damen, expression serious, “Yes I am sure.”

 

***

 

The discussion happened in the library, a location chosen by Laurent. Him and Damen were sat side by side. Laurent had his hands firmly clasped on his lap. Damen had one of his hand over Laurent’s.

In front of them, Vincent was looking quite impressed and worried. Damen shot him what he hoped was a comforting smile.

“Vincent,” Laurent started, “It came to my attention that I have been… unfair to you, causing you distress. I apologize, and wish you to know that you are in no way guilty of mistakes that could have caused my behavior.”

The young Prince nodded gravely at the solemn speech. He was used to Laurent’s particular way of speaking, and the formality didn’t make the words any less sincere in the child’s mind.

“Your father and I decided it was best to honestly explain to you the reasons why I acted the way I did, because it is something that may happen again in the future.”

Under the table, Damen felt Laurent clench his hands. He started rubbing small circles on the top of Laurent’s hand in order to smooth him.

“I… am uncomfortable being around you at this time, because of some events that happened to me when I was your age.”

Laurent’s tone was even, but under Damen’s thumb, his pulse was not, betraying his current mental state.

“You already know that King Damianos and I met under difficult circumstances, during a war against my uncle. You also know that King Damianos was responsible of my brother’s death, and that I had been raised only by my uncle, at an age close to yours.”

Vincent nodded against, casting a warry look to Damen. They never hid their problematic and violent past to their son, judging smarter to be the ones telling the story.

“During that time, before I met Damen, some… things happened that are making me concerned about your safety. I… My uncle…”

Laurent took a deep breath, grabbing Damen’s hand and squeezing hard, a signal that Damen insisted they agree upon, in case Laurent would feel too overwhelmed. Laurent had said he wouldn’t need it. Damen had feared that his husband wouldn’t use it. The King of Vere moved his eyes, gazing right in front of him, like his spirit was retracting. Meanwhile, the King of Akielos smiled at their son, and took the story where his husband left it.

He tried to keep his explanations short, while being as honest as possible without distressing their son too much. He didn’t know the whole story, Laurent didn’t talk about it, but he knew enough to help Vincent understand why his Veretian father might need space, why he might not feel like speaking to Vincent. He did his best to not make it look like Laurent might do the things he was worried he would do. He made it about Laurent’s wellbeing, because it was, and didn’t make it about Vincent’s security, because it wasn’t. Laurent’s grip onto Damen’s hand didn’t loosen during the entire conversation.

When Damen stopped talking, he had cried a little. Vincent was watching his Veretian father, who was still fixing an invisible spot somewhere in front of him.

“ _Père_ , can I hug you?”

Laurent’s eyes went wide. He looked at Damen, uncertain. His husband smiled and nodded, and Laurent nodded, too.

Vincent went to his fathers, looking a little warry. Physical affection with his Veretian father was rare. He held his arms. Laurent caught him, carefully, and brought him against his chest. Damen wrapped his arm around his husband’s shoulders, nuzzling his neck.

“See, he knows you did nothing wrong. He knows you won’t do anything wrong. I know that too. And we are going to do everything we can so that you will know that, too. You are safe here, Laurent. We are safe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End ♫
> 
> Laurent will probably have some other difficulties with parenting, but hey, who doesn't? Mostly he will do great. Because he is Laurent, and Laurent is always successful.
> 
> I am very proud of myself, I think it's the first time I write so much in English (except for schoolworks)


End file.
